Last night I spent an inordinate amount of time soaking in my tub, thinking about failure. Maybe it was the bubbles or the hot water but something about that bath made me contemplate the F-word and how much its definition has evolved over the last few years in my life.
I am 0 for 10 in the relationship department and currently have a .01% success rate in business and that .01% is an Etsy shop that is on life support.
I have tried and failed at about 100 different things in the last decade and I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that if there is anything I am really good at, it is failing. Some might say it is even my super power.
That can sound like a depressing statement, but what I have learned so far is that if done properly, failing can be your biggest source of propulsion. I don’t really know how that happens, but I have learned that it always leads me to something bigger, better, more joyful and fulfilling.
I am so sure of this that at this stage in the game I treasure mistakes and the F-word no longer paralyzes me.
It used to be this big ominous cloud that hung over my head with every creative endeavor I set out to conquer. But with so many failures under my belt, I know a secret. Do you know what happens the day after you fail?
You wake up and put your pants on and brush your hair and keep moving. Nothing changes.
Your friends still love you and you still have ideas and yeah, maybe you’re a bit more skittish about dreaming but it still happens, and you move on. There is no big paralyzing monster that consumes your soul. And beyond the misery of your own self talk, there is no real trauma when things don’t work out like you anticipated.
Once you take all the power out of it, failure just becomes part of the bigger process.
Now, do I believe that one day there will be something that is a success? Yes, of course. It is why I keep showing up. But the biggest lesson on success is when I realized it comes in many forms.
I have not sold one book in this relaunching of Rebecca B, but is Frederick a success to me? Absolutely, because after years of struggling and trying and learning and FAILING, I was able to bring him to life the way I imagined him all those years ago when I first wrote the story.
It has taken a decade and about three different attempts to get here but it is magical to finally see that cute face on the pages of the book.To me that is a success.
I have so many hopes inside of me, dreams I’ve carried through decades and the only way to keep moving forward is to redefine failure so it doesn’t equal the end.
Failure is only a rest stop along the road - a place where our action-mind hits pause so we can evaluate and redirect as needed.
Every failure is the beginning. A blank page filled with understanding of what won’t work and what we can do better.
And so, I am excited today and I hope you are too because the world is filled with possibility. Without fearing failure, we are free to explore them all and I honestly can’t wait to share that experience with you!