I have been hearing a lot about self-care lately. It stands to reason. After three weeks of staying at home and binging every show in their Netflix queue, the novelty of wearing pajamas all day and grazing mindlessly starts to wear thin. Suddenly, the dream of leisurely mornings at home fades into a zombie-like state where we question if putting on a bra is now considered “business casual.”
It’s a crazy life and like anything crazy it can feel great until it starts feeling … not so great. After a while all those things that once felt so good start making us feel like an unqualified oaf of a human. You know you’ve hit this point when you find yourself staring at your reflection in the mirror wondering when your skin turned gray, and try to recount the last time you cut your toenails. And undoubtedly because we are humans built with an innate need for survival, we gather our geese and decide to do something about the situation and suddenly the term self-care becomes part of our dialogue.
I am the Tony Robbins of self-care inner dialogue. Take my love of quotes, my crazy obsession with planners, and couple them with a deep love for baths and self-pampering and you have a recipe for a self-made, self-care guru. I make lists, I begin to clean, I purge cabinets and cupboards, I make vows to wear only pants that make me aware I AM actually wearing pants. And suddenly I am on the upswing until … I’m not.
After five years of this I’ve realized that self-care is a fickle beast because it changes all the time.
It isn’t always about wearing pants
Or painting toes
Or making your bed
Or eating kale.
Sometimes it is about spending all day under the covers and forgoing your sensible morning routine to channel your inner slug.
Some days the best thing you can do to care for yourself is to tell the world what is in your heart, and some days the best thing is to just be silent.
It’s hard because self-care is different for everyone on any given day. And right now, it feels like there are a lot of people jumping on the self-care bandwagon. They all seem to have advice and share their mantra of what they believe it is. But I just want you to know that everyone isn’t always right, including me.
Self-care is about being true to you. Being in touch with who you are and aware of the best thing you can do for yourself at any given moment. Sometimes that will line up with one of your friends and you can do it together…. But sometimes it won’t…. and that is okay.
Maybe in this moment making your bed each day is the thing that brings you joy and sanity.
But if you wake up tomorrow and making that bed begins to be a weighted stress on you, then your self-care has suddenly turned from nurturing to stress and what good is that?
I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this. Each of us has a compass inside that guides us towards peace and only we know where those arrows point on any given day. We need to be true to ourselves even if it seems like we are turning left when everyone else is turning right.
It is really hard for me sometimes to read that compass but journaling and spending time in my Bible each day always clears the air. It’s what works for me and I hope you find what works for you.
Because these last few weeks have been tough in a lot of ways. Worlds, lives, and expectations have been turned upside down and I see you swimming through the sludge and reaching for the other side. I feel the toll it is taking on our communities and hearts. And I want to tell you that it is going to be okay, but more importantly I want you to find that place where you can tell yourself it is going to be okay.
Maybe that is in sweatpants with unkempt toes, or maybe it is found in your daily fluffing of pillows and mopping floors. All I know is it is in there, and one way to find it is through self-care, because it helps us discover that compass guiding us toward peace
And right now, what I really want for you and me and the rest of the world, is a little peace.
Sending you lots of love today and always,
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